Breathe In, Breathe Out

First of all, look what I woke up to this morning...

The front windshield, if you can't tell, said "Mr. Alpine and Mrs. Desoto." Honestly?

My apologies for failing to write since Sunday. I have been so busy with the 5 finals. That's right- a senior with 1 final everyday her last week of college. Life can be so cruel. And so odd- I'm tempted to study and wish the week away, but I have to remind myself that this is it and to soak every moment of it up. Right now I sit in the Old Chapter Room of the Chi O house. It's finals week- the most miserable week of the semester- and yet, I'm sitting around a big table with four other girls and there are others scattered about the room on chairs and couches. There are sonic drinks and cups of yogurt and bags of candy scattered about the scantrons and pens. Every once in awhile there's a loudly whispered "Oh my word LOOK at this!!!!" followed by the revealing of some funny text or facebook happening. We're all studying and some of us are very stressed out over tough exams, but if this is as bad as it gets, then wow we've had it good these last four years. We've all had our moments- those really sad ones when your pillow is wet with tears and you can't imagine getting out of bed could possibly be worth it- but even in those we've had each other.

I have to keep reminding myself that this is it because I'm terrified of not realizing this is truly the end until Sunday morning, the day that I leave, or even worse- Monday morning when I don't wake up in a house packed full of my best friends.

Except that when I remind myself I'm leaving all of these precious people, I also have to remind myself to breathe. Not because I'll stop breathing, but because if I don't concentrate, I will constantly end up in a puddle of tears.

I realize I'm dramatic- I have been told this since I flailed my body across an ottoman at the tender age of 4 and said "I have none life" in response to being told my parents were staying home and I wasn't getting a babysitter. But this view- this dramatic, emotional view- is what I see the world through. And this week, it's really sad.

But guess what? Guess what I get to do? I get to keep these sweet girls so close to me in every way except for the obvious physically getting to be with them way and start moving into the house- the home- that I will share with my HUSBAND. We sold my house in Tupelo the year after my mom died and eventually my dad and his wife moved to a 2 bedroom condo in Oxford and now because of God's great mercy in my life- Brian is giving me a home. I can't tell you what a blessing that is. I won't have to pack an overnight bag like when I go to Tupelo for Christmas break to stay with friends. I won't have to cram all my stuff under a bed and in a tiny closet in a sorority house. I will have a home that's mine. And his! I get to come home to him August 23rd! We won't really move in until August when his current roommates move out, but you better believe I'm gonna be creeping around those boys putting furniture and clothes and little cute trinkets in that house when I'm in Baton Rouge in the next couple of weeks. I mean, hello! I have a canvas to hang!

And don't worry, I will shapshot all of the above and let you see what you think of it.

Rachel