yes, i had 16 bridesmaids

i slept in the bed with kizzy the last night before i got married.... just like i did the last night of high school, the night my mother died, and a million others. it was only right and completely necessary. leah handed me her toast the morning of the wedding... she wrote it out instead of speaking at the rehearsal dinner, so i was able to read her sweet words as i brushed my teeth that morning, so i was able to hold her words near and reread them as i needed them. mg blew my hair dry. she's a pro at drying hair, and even though it was my wedding day, my WEDDING DAY, we just chatted and she blew my hair dry and i was perfectly relaxed with pretty hair. nat went with me to get my make-up done, and later changed my hair from veil to no veil before the reception... since junior year, i have scurried to nat's room in a towel wrap so she could do my make-up. even on my wedding day, i don't know that i could have let anyone touch my face if nat wasn't there. she made me feel beautiful, and she teared up the whole time.weesie gave me marriage tips as we sat in the dressing room... tips that i so very much cherished and so very much needed... little pieces of wisdom i still hold onto dearly. darb was the first to tell me i was glowing when i put on my wedding dress... the look on her face made me believe it, and i will always always always remember that moment and feeling. i looked atriri and could see b's smile, and how i loved and needed to see his smile all day... because she was there smiling, i did. meresy followed me upstairs to the sanctuary for my bridal pictures and carried my train and my lipgloss. she kept me from panic and kept me from ever having to be alone on my wedding day. my mom wasn't standing there watching my bridal portraits and reapplying my lip gloss, but my meresy was. elizabeth reminded me all day of where brian and i have been. liz was there from the very beginning and has been my saving grace when i was freaking out over our relationship. and elizabeth has the smiling eyes. her eyes grin and dance with joy and they danced all throughout my wedding day. chelsea was the other face besides brian's i could see when i turned toward him during the ceremony. her big smile and sweet tears made me smile bigger and cry harder. bets was my big sister on my wedding day without our mom there, and she was such a champ in the ways i needed her to be. kritter asked me all day, "how are ya? how ya feeling rach? i mean, i can so tell you're great." if i needed to get nervous for a minute, or sad about my mom, she was giving me an opportunity. what she was really saying was, "i think you're happy and calm, you look happy and calm. but if you're not, that's okay and i'm here."anna is the queen of service, and will absolutely always do what she says she will do. i asked her to do a million tiny things all day, i.e. take my flipflops and lip gloss upstairs, and she did every single one of them. anna is also the queen of event feedback. by the time we got to the reception, she had gotten feedback from multiple people on how pretty they thought the ceremony was and was so quick to report to me. i don't care what anyone says, compliments like that make a bride feel even happier than she already does. mary lou reminded me that i'm not the only bride without my mom on my wedding day. one day she will be a gorgeous bride, and her mom won't physically be there... but she also reminded me that my mom was there.she really was. everyone told me that, but perhaps no one believed my mom was there like mary lou did, and mary lou made me believe it. and mary lou reminded me to be sassy- mary lou is the best kind of sassy. leen brought me back down to earth. that's just who she is. she's real, and she kept me real. and she had a blast at my reception... she danced the night away and everyone on the dance floor had a little more fun because she was there. ames grabbed me a million times throughout the day and night and said, "this is all for you! this is YOUR wedding day! it's yours rach!" she reminded me to soak up every moment, to remember that the day was ours- mine and brian's. the one we will relate every detail of to our daughter.

i know there were 16, but it took all 16 to get me down the aisle. they are where i'm from, where i am, where i'm going. they are the reason i am who i am, the reason i am the girl brian fell in love with.